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Column: Grown folks gone wild
by Lauretta Hannon
September 19, 2013 06:04 PM | 5336 views | 0 0 comments | 103 103 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Lauretta Hannon
Lauretta Hannon

Q: I recently attended a college football game. Two men on the row behind me got into a loud, verbal, vulgar confrontation - each debasing the opposing team. Use of the “F” word and other expletives flowed freely around all of us. These men were seated about three people apart but on the same row. This went on for about 10 minutes.

I kept looking back with astonishment at them! Of course they did not see. I considered saying, “Hey, there is a lady present!” But I feared they would both start cussing at me. I saw a vacant seat out of ear-shot and moved.

It made me feel sick to know that “grown men” act this way. They did not appear to be drinking either. What do you think would have been the best thing to do?

A: The college football stadium is the modern Roman Colosseum and the ultimate man-space. The normal rules of civility and propriety don’t apply. The behavior you witnessed fulfills a man’s primordial need to be untamed, loud and overly aggressive. This is not a bad thing.

The outlet of the sporting event actually enables these fellows to return home and be a patient dad or loving husband. They just have to get it out of their system, especially as our society becomes increasingly feminized. I call it estrogen overload, and it’s affecting a lot of us. We need to let men be men.

Don’t get me wrong: I know these boneheads nearly ruined your time at the game. But complaining about it is like going to the swimming pool and being upset that you got wet.

College football strikes an old mythic chord. Our beloved teams, players and coaches embody the Roman quality of manliness just as the gladiators did. Our “tribe” will either be the victor or the vanquished awaiting the deathblow with Stoic dignity. This is serious stuff even though it’s not “real.” As in the days of the Colosseum, brute force, theater and illusion abound, both in the arena and in the stands.

All of that said, you did the right thing by moving away from the spectacle. It was their battle, not yours.

Q: The other day my wife went to the beauty shop for her regular appointment. While she was there, two or three other women (aged 60-plus) were laughing and howling. Come to find out, they had pictures of nude men, and their language was not befitting their age. These were mature women, and it took all the other ladies by surprise.

I know we all have different personalities and traits, but really?! The whole deal is disgusting to my wife and me. Personally speaking, I like “ladies” to be and act like a “lady.” Your thoughts?

A: Guys have college football; women have the beauty shop. The salon is a safe space for “ladies” to loosen up and express themselves. I can’t imagine any harm done by a few broads cackling over some images of naked men. Turnabout is fair play — and sweet indeed!

Your wife made a choice to be bothered and repulsed. Next time she should consider seeing what all the fuss is about. I have a feeling she might emit a little giggle herself.

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Lauretta Hannon, a resident of Powder Springs, is the bestselling author of “The Cracker Queen — A Memoir of a Jagged, Joyful Life” and a keynote speaker. Southern Living has named her “the funniest woman in Georgia.” See more at

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